Last month my body let me down.
I had a nasty virus and had been ordered to rest for at least 2 weeks. This meant I had to cancel clients, turn off my emails and basically sit quietly at home. This is not something I am very good at doing.
My body had really let me down.
But had it? It’s easy to blame our body for letting us down, it’s easy to see burn out as something our body has done to us. But what if I had actually let my body down?
The reality is – I let my body down.
I had been burning the candle at both ends for weeks. In as few as 3 months I had organised a wedding, been on honeymoon travelling across Sri Lanka, got our flat under offer and every weekend was spent looking at properties. In between all of this, it was business as usual.
For some reason I just expected my body to keep up. I figured that although I felt stressed, my body was still going strong and was doing ok. I was taking supplements, eating well, exercising as normal and sleeping. Yet I still burnt myself out.
As a lay feeling sorry for myself and concerned about not being able to see and help my clients the following phrase came to me:
‘Physician heal thyself’ – Luke 4:23
This phrase alludes to the readiness and ability of physicians to heal sickness in others while sometimes not being able or willing to heal themselves. It suggests that physicians, while often being able to help the sick, cannot always do so and, when sick themselves, are no better placed than anyone else.
Something needed to shift.
So I booked myself in to see my homeopath. I went to the doctor for a more formal diagnosis and to confirm that what I had was viral. My husband made me fresh vegetable juices every morning and worked from home to care and cook for me. I turned off my work phone and emails and started reading fiction that I only ever get the chance to read when I’m on holiday.
At first it was really hard. I fought the urge to carry on as normal, I was trying to deny that I was unwell and needed to rest. If truth be told, I think most therapists are really bad patients, and I am no exception. In short, I felt guilty.
In my mind, as a homeopath I wrongly believe that I should be well all of the time. This is simply not realistic. If anything, as a homeopath I’m so often caring for other people’s wellbeing that I very often forget to switch off and look after myself.
I have really learnt my lesson.
After 2 weeks of feeling quite poorly and another 2 weeks of rebuilding my immune system I have had to make some changes. Namely in regards to switching off a bit. From work, from my mobile phone, from my emails, from Facebook, even from intense exercise.
To be honest, it has been hard but it’s necessary. I am taking more time to meditate, to read fictional books, to talk with my husband instead of watching TV, to cook proper meals and to find more creative projects to do in my spare time.
I’ve also booked in for acupuncture, I’ve gone to see my homeopath; I’ve had some Reiki and THETA healing sessions. In short, I feel so much better. My body is recovering and I’m trying not to let it down again.
I’m grateful for those 2 weeks off; they really helped me reflect on what I was doing to myself and how I needed to care for me too.
I am of no use to my clients if I am not well!
Do you catch yourself doing too much? Are you concerned you’re about to burn out? If so, leave your comments and thoughts below; I would love to hear from you!
Until next time, have a happy, healthy week.